I got a fever and the only prescription is more arms control

Posted: April 7, 2011 in Songs of Space and Nuclear War
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The ‘More Cowbell’ routine from Saturday Night Live, with Will Ferrell as an energetic cowbell specialist and Christopher Walken as a cowbell loving music producer, may be something of an acquired taste.  But as with much of Ferrell’s comedy, if you find humor in a guy going all-in to make a fool of himself, it’s well worth the six minute investment.

In the skit, “Blue Oyster Cult” is recording Don’t Fear the Reaper and there exists a tension as to just how much cowbell should be used in the song.  Eventually, Walken drops the skit’s signature line “I got a fever and the only prescription is more cow bell.” 

And that’s largely where much of the arms control community is, yesterday, today, and tomorrow: they got a fever and the only prescription is more arms control.

Problems with worldwide nuclear proliferation?  More arms control.  Missile proliferation?  More arms control.  The need to ‘stabilize conventional imbalances’?  More arms control. 

Arms control becomes a ‘daunting but necessary step’ which requires… more arms control.  What needs to be done to ‘build on the momentum created by New START’?  You know the answer.

Did arms control stop us from getting to where we are today?  Obviously not.

What’s largely ignored along the way?  Things that don’t involve the West, and especially the U.S. like Pakistan as the world’s seventh sixth fifth-largest largest nuclear weapons holder; China destroying a satellite with a direct ascent ASAT; the North Korean and Iranian nuclear weapons programs; China pointing 1500-plus missiles at Taiwan; Russia with a ten-to-one advantage in tactical nuclear weapons; space warfare from Ethiopia, Iran, and Libya.

How will arms control restrain such behavior?  Crickets.

But I got a fever…

I got a fever

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